How Do Narcissists Try To Get Your Attention?

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How Do Narcissists Try to Get Your Attention?

Dealing with narcissists can be challenging and emotionally draining. These individuals have an excessive need for admiration and attention, often at the expense of others. They employ various tactics to grab your attention and keep it focused on them. Understanding these strategies can help you better navigate relationships with narcissistic individuals. In this article, we will explore how narcissists try to get your attention.

The Charm Offensive

Narcissists are skilled at charming people and making a strong first impression. They often display charisma, confidence, and wit to captivate those around them. During the initial stages of a relationship, they may shower you with compliments, gifts, and romantic gestures. This charm offensive is designed to win your admiration and make you feel special.

Playing the Victim

When things don’t go their way or when they face criticism, narcissists often play the victim. They manipulate situations to make themselves appear helpless, innocent, or unfairly treated. By painting themselves as the victim, they seek sympathy and attention from others while deflecting any responsibility for their actions.


Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic commonly used by narcissists to make you doubt your own perceptions and sanity. They twist facts, deny events, and distort reality to confuse and control you. By undermining your confidence and making you question yourself, they can easily gain power and attention.

Love Bombing

Love bombing is an intense and overwhelming display of affection and attention. Narcissists use this tactic to quickly establish a deep connection and emotional dependency. They bombard you with lavish displays of love, compliments, and promises, making you feel desired and valued. This technique aims to keep you hooked and focused solely on them.

Silent Treatment

Narcissists often employ the silent treatment as a way to punish and manipulate you. They withdraw all communication and attention, leaving you feeling confused, anxious, and desperate for their acknowledgment. This tactic is designed to make you crave their attention and work harder to regain their favor.


Triangulation involves bringing a third person into the relationship dynamic. Narcissists may talk about or involve another person, such as an ex-partner or a potential love interest, to create jealousy, insecurity, and competition. By doing so, they keep you on edge and constantly vying for their attention and validation.

Exaggerated Accomplishments

Narcissists often boast about their achievements, skills, and talents to gain admiration and attention. They exaggerate their abilities and may even fabricate stories to make themselves appear superior to others. By showcasing their accomplishments, they seek validation and feed their insatiable need for attention.


When narcissists feel their control slipping or when they want to manipulate you into doing something, they resort to guilt-tripping. They use emotional manipulation, playing on your sympathy and sense of obligation. By making you feel guilty, they can easily secure your attention and compliance.

Provoking Emotional Reactions

Narcissists often provoke emotional reactions in others to gain attention. They may engage in arguments, push your boundaries, or intentionally trigger your insecurities. By eliciting strong emotional responses, they ensure that you remain focused on them and their needs.

Constant Need for Validation

A narcissist’s self-esteem is fragile and dependent on external validation. They constantly seek praise, admiration, and reassurance from others. They fish for compliments, demand excessive attention, and become upset if they feel ignored or unappreciated. Their insatiable need for validation ensures that they are always at the center of attention.


Dealing with a narcissist’s attention-seeking behavior can be exhausting and detrimental to your well-being. It is essential to recognize and understand these tactics to protect yourself and maintain healthy boundaries. Remember, your attention and energy are valuable, and it is crucial to direct them towards people who genuinely deserve them.

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